Slick shit won’t stick.
The Rant
I’m no longer letting people ‘LOL’ me and say ISH that’s f*ck’d up to me or about me. From now on, I’m challenging that ISH so if you don’t want to confront your reasons for the slight or disregard disguised as lighthearted sarcasm, then mind your words with me or toward me. Social media has some people being too loose with their fingers, typing things that they know has ill intent implied.
The space between perceived intent and true intent is further minimized when my past experiences are coupled with my study of the English language. Being bullied during my formative years is a part of my heightened awareness to the words people say to me. Growing up, I often heard phrases like “she thinks she’s cute” or “you think you’re all that” (well, I just gave you a hint about my age with that). During my tween and teen years, these phrases were not followed with a LOL, but rather with saliva-coated sunflower seeds spat “toward” me, or seemingly accidental pushes into a locker. Instead of LOL at the end of these attacks it was the courtesy curt “oops, my bad” that ended the event. This background of understanding real intent is why now I find it so hard to accept these slights with the new-age “apologetic” LOL. I accepted this kind of behavior for much too long in my earlier years, and admittedly even in some more recent years of my life.
The Message
Ask yourself: would I say what I just typed if I was face-to-face? If the answer is yes, then ask: am I okay with the potential consequence of this message not being received as a joke? Finally, you must ask yourself: what is it about your message that makes you laugh out loud? If contempt is the real reaction you have, then backspace or delete your message before sending it?
Be combative when asserting and commanding the respect you deserve. Especially pay attention to those that claim to love you–if your experiences are like mine, then this group of people will be the largest culprits of this crime of hate, LOL.
Final Thoughts
A part of being more selfish includes accepting that intentions of some may not be in the best interest of YOU, and once an attempt to belittle or deny your value is uncovered, you must decide is it a one-off situation, or are you seeing a pattern…and for clarity’s sake, a pattern in regards to how people you treat you is established with two or more incidents. The conditioning to allow things to happen a handful of times is no more for the person that shows up selfishly. This is not about staying on guard, but rather protecting your peace. If someone says something to you more than once, even if with LOL at the end, AND it bothers you then that statement should be challenged. Feel empowered to protect your peace of mind and you will never need to guard your heart or body.
And if a statement does not bother you, even if stated all the time with a concluding, double-minded LOL, then there’s no need to talk about it. The beautiful thing about protecting your peace is that you hold the barometer, and thus get to decide if it is a problem that needs to be resolved, or if it’s not a problem at all. You’ll perhaps even discover that it depends on who is saying the comment.
As for me, greasy comments are too unsettling when from people close to me, and won’t hold when tested with my barometer of peace.
WriterTwenty 